New Part Time Job

I had to make a difficult decision in the past few weeks.  I finally decided to apply, at the last minute, for a job at different church as musical director.  I applied almost too late, got an interviiew/audition, and got the job.  It will be so hard leaving the wonderful people I have worked with for the past 6 years, but it is time to move on.  I am hoping to start a youth glee club and also to do some theatre stuff in this new position.  I am believing for the best. 

What Am I Thinking?

I wrote this song for a Domestic Abuse Symposium at our local high school,called W.A.I.T (What Am I Thinking?).  I was one of the presenters as a survivor of domestic abuse, and used the song in my presentation.  As well, I sang it over the PA to the whole school at the end of the symposium as the closing. Not only does it show some of the pain, but also inpsires victims to become empowered.

What Am I Thinking

When you tell me what to do and how to act

And I accept

What am I thinking?

When you tell me I am worthless and no good

And I accept

What am I thinking?

When you tell me I am stupid and so wrong

And I accept

What am I thinking?

When I make excuses for the way you treat me

When I cover up the pain and agony

What am I thinking?

When you promise me that you will change your ways

And I don’t leave

What am I thinking?

When I’m so afraid that others will blame me

And I don’t leave

What am I thinking?

When I think that no one else could ever care

And I don’t leave

What am I thinking?

When I think that I can’t make it on my own

When I worry what you’ll do if I should go

What am I thinking?

And suddenly I realize the choice is really mine

In my darkest hour I know that I can find

The strength to take the first step in taking back my life

And I will learn to fly like eagles to the utmost heights

If you ask me now

What am I thinking? 

I am choosing to be happy

I am choosing to be free

I am choosing to be the person I was meant to be

What am I thinking?  I’m thinking I love me.

When I think that I’m the one who made you mad

And I’m afraid

What am I thinking?

When I think your passion gives you an excuse

And I’m afraid

What am I thinking?

When I think your chains will never let me go

And I’m afraid

What am I thinking?

When I know that it’s not right to be so shamed

When I just can’t find the way to break the chain

What am I thinking?

And suddenly I realize the choice is really mine

In my darkest hour I know that I can find

The strength to take the first step in taking back my life

And I will learn to fly like eagles to the utmost heights

If you ask me now

What am I thinking? 

I am choosing to be happy

I am choosing to be free

I am choosing to be the person I was meant to be

What am I thinking?  I’m thinking I love me.

Mothers' Day, 2011

I ended up spending the afternoon of Mothers' Day cooking - two cakes,  curried orzo with apple and onions, grilled veggie kebabs and portabella mushrooms on the barbecue. My two daughters and I had dinner with my 94 year old mother, plus my brother and one girl's partner.  But, best of all was the gift of a picture of the three of us (my daughters and I) from this past St. Patrick's Day and these words in a card:

"I want you to know
       just how much I appreciate
the loving way you raised me
You often had to be
       both mom and dad,
   and that couldn't have been easy.
Many times your own dreams
       had to be put on hold
   so that mine could be nurtured.
But you always made sure
       I felt accepted, secure, and loved,
And whatever else you accomplished,
       you may be sure of this
   you raised a grateful daughter
       who'll always love you.